As a result of Kylie Minogue’s new single, Earth is currently facing its first-ever “padamic”.

Released as the lead single from the pop icon’s forthcoming 16th studio album Tension, Padam Padam is a camp-as-tits electro-pop banger that sees Kylie enter her medical era. (‘Increased heart rate’ and ‘tachycardia’ are now extinct: Padam Padam is the way.)

“Shivers and butterflies, I get the shivers when I look into your eyes, and I can tell that you’re all in, ’cause I can hear your heart beatin’ padam padam,” Kylie sings on the infectious track. “Padam, padam, I hear it and I know.

“Padam, padam, I know you wanna take me home, padam, and take off all my clothes. Padam, padam, when your heart goes padam.” 

The Lostboy-produced anthem, which was performed for the first on the American Idol season 21 finale to widespread critical acclaim, has united Gay Twitter with countless, hilarious memes.

From Sarah Michelle Gellar and Eliza Dushku dancing in the club on Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Roxxxy Andrews and Detox untucking in the Interior Illusions Lounge, Padam Padam is a certified “cultural reset”.

Check out the best memes below.

https://twitter.com/fkajxck/status/1660321603392098304

https://twitter.com/cosmicoras/status/1660132071506087937

Tension, which consists of “euphoric, empowered dance floor bangers and sultry pop cuts”, will be released on 22 September.

According to a press release, the album will contain 11 “unabashed pleasure-seeking, seize-the-moment, joyful pop tunes”.

Kylie said she started the album with “an open mind and a blank page”.

“Unlike my last two albums there wasn’t a ‘theme’, it was about finding the heart or the fun or the fantasy of that moment and always trying to service the song,” she explained in a statement.

“I wanted to celebrate each song’s individuality and to dive into that freedom. I would say it’s a blend of personal reflection, club abandon and melancholic high.”

Seven of Tension’s tracks are produced and co-written with Kylie’s long-time collaborators, Biff Stannard and Duck Blackwell.

On the recording process, she added: “I loved being back in the studio with my collaborators but was also able to benefit from remote recording, which we have all got used to – my mobile studio never left my side for a year and a half!

“The album is a mix of songs I have written and songs which really spoke to me. Making this album helped me navigate challenging times and celebrate the now. I hope it accompanies listeners on their own journeys and becomes part of their story.”

Kylie’s last album, DISCO, received near universal critical acclaim and topped the charts in Australia, Scotland, Ireland and the UK.

She recently headlined Sydney WorldPride, performing classic anthems such as Spinning Around, Love at First Sight, Get Outta My Way, Slow and Can’t Get You Out of My Head to a crowd of over 20,000.

The star ended her set with a surprise appearance from her sister Dannii, where they performed a duet to her LGBTQ+ favourite All The Lovers. It was the first time they shared a stage in eight years.

Check out the tracklist for Tension below and pre-save the album here.

Padam Padam
Hold On To Now
Things We Do For Love
Tension
One More Time
You Still Get Me High
Hands
Green Light
Vegas High
10 Out Of 10
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